Sometimes being a freelancer sucks. I love my job as a curator and writer, but occasionally, when I’ve sent all the proposals I’m going to send for the day, applied for a couple of contracts, and responded to all emails, anxiety seeps in and pushed my brain to think “what now?”. Before fear takes hold, which can be debilitating, my adrenaline starts shooting signals to my body saying “move, move, move or die”. Like a ….
Years ago, I had disordered eating (also known as an eating disorder). It took me a long time to get over it, and for me a combination of self-evaluation, therapy, and social work helped. I was reading into Buddhism back then and related to its primary philosophy that “suffering is living”.
The concept in brief, is that we have a life, and within that life we must experience suffering and joy, it is the balance of life and death, to suffer is to live. Of course in our darkest moments (I’ve had a few) it’s hard to rise above our suffering and appreciate this moment we are feeling with such extreme and powerful emotions. But that’s no reason not to try. Suffering is our mind’s way of positioning ourselves against our beliefs.
“So it’s been one year since I started this blog. I’ve enjoyed sharing my blog with my friends and discovering new bloggers. It seems the most popular posts are about food and gardening but I’m going to hold on a bit longer to see if I can bulk up the other sections as well.
I’m finding myself more connected to my hobbies since starting this blog. It’s a nice excuse to relax and think on some things. Most of all, thinking about how hobbies can be linked to our livelihood and values on life and sustainability, caring about and taking care of ourselves and others. The other day I had to take a minute and realize that my hobbies, which are the foundation of my lifestyle, are intrinsically linked to….”
“In the beginning there’s maybe an inkling. A type of nagging feeling that you need to do something in the creative sphere. That even if the day in and day out of your job is satisfying, that something deep down isn’t being satisfied. Maybe creativity to you is painting, sculpting, gardening, but maybe it’s fixing cars, trying a new lifestyle choice or cooking for friends.
In my dictionary, the definition of a hobby is becoming obsessed with something because it’s challenging or makes you think or act outside of that “box” we are all comforted by. Sometimes that hobby dies out, and we go on to try something new, and sometimes we discover things about ourselves…”